The earlier you get the facts re: his chances of getting the custody of your second son and your ex' chances of winning the custody of your first son, the better. The truth may be sobering, but you will get clarity, which, in turn, will reduce your level of anxiety. Plus, if there are steps you can take to better your position, you should find out about them. I do not know what they might be - perhaps volunteer at the school more - but it is worth finding out. Stash some cash to pay for a clandestine consult with an attorney.