<sailor_speak>RANTRANTRANTRANT I am pissing myself off RANTRANTRANTRANTRANT</sailor_speak>

Seriously?

Is it possible to just become more autistic?

Like... autistic me in a concentrated form?
I hate sounds and smells and certain touches to the 10th power at this point, I don't get along with anyone and can't figure out how to fix that. My tolerance for change is really through the floor- but so is the threshold for all my 'mysterious' neuro symptoms. I am messing up language, I constantly mishear people. My brain can't process even more than the usual stuff that clutters it up.

I feel like there is something so wrong, and no idea what or how to fix it.
It seems kind of like it's me plus some bizarre brain crap that no one wants to hear about.

I don't get jokes, when I make jokes everyone thinks I'm serious.
Also, everyone else knows what i'm feeling, like way better than I do, at any given moment. Apparently.
On top of everything else.

I am just reaching this whole "wow, I hate people and everyone hates me" and I don't even want to engage with more than like three people on earth.

If I don't, though, all of this will become worse.
I feel like I seriously lack understanding of the entire world lately, and i don't know where to find this previous insight I had.