Im not suicidal...im just sick of people and sad. My introversion has become even worse due to recent events in my life. I was diagnosed with bepression many years ago but i am no longer medicated by choice i dont like to take meds and i didnt like how they made me feel. I know this is a personal choice and sometimes they work well for others but im not one of them. Someone i recently was having somewhat of a relationship with has simply decided not to be friends with me anymore because i have drama with me...mind you this person at best is a borderline alcoholic that seems to be VERY afraid of any type of emotional intimacy with anyone. I guess i got what i deserved but i try and be open and honest with people and it always kicks me in the teeth. As this persons friend i started drinking again and for all practical purposes brought myself down on a lot of levels but i still cared for this person as i like to see the good in everyone...so know im back to intovert to the extreme..im home with my dog and i really dont care if life changes for me at all as at this point i dont think it will. maybe i just pick rotten friends and partners...and then i see only the good in them...either way this friend shutting me down and out has really left me feeling down and out when i just opened up to someone for the first time in years and felt there was a bond when apparently it was quite one sided....im just over it..im sad ...and i feel like nothing will change and im not sure that i care at all.