I'm so scared I'm going to irritate or frustrate her that she gives up on me. I am totally being the cliche borderline: I love you, I hate you; go away, please don't leave me! I hate this. I'm watching myself walk off a cliff and I just can't stop myself. If I can understand what I'm doing then why can't I stop myself? When I look at the overall picture, nothing is really wrong/bad. When I'm with my T, I'm happy. As soon as I leave her office, I am over-analyzing everything and looking for every little imperfection. I want to smack myself across the face and tell myself to knock it off.

I hope you're right didgee. I hope I don't destroy my relationship with my T. I hope my relationship does grow from this. Even though I can't stop these thoughts/feelings, I do NOT want to jeopardize or lose my relationship with my T!