It hit me today... I'm just a nameless face in the crowd at my college. I've done such a good job at pretending I don't exist that none of the students even know my name. I was referred to as 'the one that draws' by another student wanting to see what I was even drawing. But I wasn't in the zone and I had no idea what I was actually drawing. Looked like a pokemon, but I don't know what. I wasn't really interested. I was just looking for an excuse to avoid speaking to my peers.

On the way home my dad phoned up. "How are you feeling today?" I knew why he was asking that. If I told him how I actually felt, he'd ask me what I've got to be depressed about again. So I just said that I was full of a cold. Then he said. "Besides full of a cold are you okay; not feeling depressed?" It was starting to irritate me. If I told him the truth, he'd make me feel bad for it. If I didn't answer, he wouldn't hang up. So I lied. "I'm fine." He believed it again... For the thousandth time, he believed a lie. And yet, I feel like a monster for lying to the man who has no empathy around me whatsoever.

Then I entered my home and found a letter at the back of the door. I opened the envelope and inside was a folded handwritten letter. On one of the folds is said. 'My element of loyalty'. Enclosed in the letter was a necklace and a wristband. It was from my boyfriend. The letter was about how I'm his hero and the fact that it was amazing what I did on Friday night and that I deserved these gifts. I'm not a hero though. I'm just human and humans get attached to people, especially when they don't have many friends. I still can't accept any of his compliments. I just can't see it. I'm not amazing. I'm not a hero. I'm a human who exists.

I feel like crying....