Quote:
Originally Posted by purple sinatra
So, please tell me what do you do when your mom is your biggest trigger and she is extremely present in my life. I mean very present. I'm an only child, but I am a 35 year old woman. Just got married in May and just got diagnosed in September. An extremely hostile boss triggered the PTSD and I'm deep in it now. Mom never abused me or anything, just made a lot of really bad choices, during my developmental years that stayed with me...lots of moves, marriages, boyfriends, other stuff. Anyway, I'm trying to set boundaries, but we are close and she calls all of the time and wants to see me. I never really leave the house, have isolated myself from my friends, and am always pissed off at my mother. She knows everything, but can't seem to process it and won't give me any space. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty too. Any advice?
|
I had a 'toxic mother' who knew only how to criticize me, mostly about my weight - thus a serious ED now, and a problem with being overweight for most of my life. I believe too, that she, along with the bastard who sexually abused me ruined my life. The PTSD is due to them.
Setting boundaries is tough, however, your mother may not realize she is kind of smothering you. Buying a book was a good suggestion, but some people just don't 'get it'. Is she difficult to talk to, does she have a preconceived notion or idea as to how your relationship should be with her? Sometimes mothers feed us the guilt trip. Perhaps having a talk over lunch? Breaking it gently?
I have finally said adios to my mother (for the 3rd/4th time), she is so toxic that I just can't have her in my life. This doesn't sound like your situation, however, with my mom she'll never know why or how she hurts me or will ever 'get it'. She still makes me feel guilty though ~~ that's why I'm still in therapy!
