I feel slightly disturbed about what I just read...she is a 9 year old CHILD and yes you do sound jealous more than anything. I think you have some major issues you need to work out and stop taking your pain or fears out on a 9 year old child. As for her father spooning with her, I see nothing wrong with that. I used to lay with my father and he never abused me in any way. You sound very bitter.