I have no advice for you, I can only relate to you. Please know that you are not alone. I didn't even have the courage to tell my parents what happened to me. I don't think it would have mattered.

I was raped as a teenager and sexually abused as a child, (part of which the memories are still sketchy). Any way I could care less about having sex.Sex is a time when my mind goes away mentally. When I am board, or stressed, or angry I turn to watching porn. Not that it does anything for me, it is just a place where I find safety. Sick I know, but any way that is how I feel.

Sexual abuse affects us all in different ways. It affects our daily life, it affects our sex life. The best things you can do is seek counseling. The affects of abuse can be somewhat reversed. I have grown so much since starting T and disclosing this kinda of stuff to the T. It took me 25 years after the rape to tell someone and it was my current T.

I am glad you found the courage to speak out here. This is a most helpful site and so many people here have been threw the same thing you are going threw. Look in the survivors of abuse forum to read more on this subject. Please feel free to continue posting here. Talk and vent all you need to. If you want to PM me you certainly may.