Finally I have something here. Possibly a career if I can make it work. I'm just tripping really hard on how it's going to go. Mainly how i'm going to manage the relationships at work. I have a lot of trouble spending a lot of time with just about anyone.
I break too much contact, if anyone can understand that. Like an engagement will start up then I quickly pull out and withdraw. It's like i'm afraid to really get to know anyone.
What has happened in the past that I am scared might emerge again is i'll work (that's no problem), but won't acknowledge anyone. It's like I use whatever i'm doing at hand as a means of not being able to talk with someone while i'm doing it. Then I come off like an imbecile or slave with no personality.
I know worrying on it is negative thinking so I should probably stop and just try to expect it to be a good thing. I've just made a habit out've negative thinking and am looking for ways to change all of my thoughts back to a more positive light.