Elevatedsoul I can't tell you how much of the same feelings we have. On your doctor I know what you mean when you say you feel out of line suggesting drugs. I have done the same thing, because I think certain ones would be better than others.
I too have gotten my thyroid levels checked and my doctor wants me to go into the lab again to double check the results. It could be part of the reason you feel like you're dissociating.
That too, I feel I experience. You said you make yourself go and come back home feeling horrible because of how bad things went.
Do you feel like you're not in control once you make these decisions to go out?
Then you get frustrated right afterwards because of how bad it went?
I do this. And by dissociate do you mean you like space out?