My husband and I had an ordinary and wonderful day, but now that he's going back to work tomorrow, I'm struggling again to stay strong emotionally. I've often turned to a friend and mentor during these times, but recognize it's not doing either of us any good. I've tried to keep my distance from my husband the nights before he goes to work hoping I'll prepare myself for a mostly solitary day (I work from home as a writer, but have plenty to keep me busy.) I miss him greatly, though I'm not needy on him because I know we both do what we have to do in our work lives for our family (we have a young daughter.) Most of the time I silently try to cope, and turn to my mentor. I'm glad I have this forum to post to now, because this is quite a struggle for me - or any one person to bear. I'm sure this feeling is magnified because I was abandoned by both my parents (Mom, emotionally and Dad physically and emotionally.) I have been through several years therapy and trying meds - these abandonment issues seem to creep up and sabatoge what has the potential of being a productive day. I guess I'm still healing, after all these years? I don't want to live in the past, but it seems to drag me back during these times when my husband and friends aren't available to me, making me have feelings of being abandoned including: fear, anxiety, anxiousness, panic, sadness....and so many other things - but those are the main ones. I'm going to jot down three positive distractions (like a hobbie or small chores around the house) to take part in tomorrow as I break from writing, to hopefully keep my mind off these feelings. I may also journal. Tonight I'm going to try something new. I'm going to my husband and putting up with the TV - I'm sensitive to sound and it's like a mega phone - To try to spend some last few moments to remember and carry with me tomorrow and for the next several days. Does anyone else have any suggestions on how to cope with these feelings and turn them into something positive so I'm not stuck in the never-ending loop of paralyzing fear and loss each time he leaves? I am seeing a therapist bi-weekly. Thanks for your thoughts.