Hi Agatha. I hope I can be of some help.

Hamster is absolutely correct when she says your mother wronged you. It was a disgusting failure on her part as a mother to not only dismiss your claim as she did, but to blame you? That's wrong, on many different levels. She should have been supportive of you, and helped you when you needed it...she failed you in her reaction. I am sorry for that.

Additionally...while I wish I had more practical advice to offer, I have to say...I am so sorry about that "friend" of yours. For him to do that is beyond forgiveness. I hope karma is swift and brutal...that's about the most PC appropriate thing I can say towards him.

Speaking practically, there's a couple of points I'd like to address. Speaking to the sex itself, I think you're using it as a bit of a security blanket...you seem, based on your post, to seek sex when when things are at a low. That, of course, brings us to a double edged sword...you seek sex for security, but dislike the action itself. That creates a bit of a vicious circle. The key here, I think, is discovering and working past why you seek sex when things aren't going well. Do you have any idea why that would be? What about sex makes it something you seek when you're feeling down? If I may guess...it sounds to me like you seek sex as a substitution for familial love, as based on your post, it sounds like there's a correlation between how you and your family are getting along and your sexual activity. Do you think that's a correct observation?

But I would say this as well...your family's reaction to you having sex is entirely wrong. Granted, I would understand if they were concerned over your rationale behind it...that would make sense to me. But you're an adult woman. You've zero obligation to inform your mother over your sex life...it is none of her business. Sex should be an informed decision between you and a partner whom you love and respect...and at that, a private decision. There is no guilt to be had Agatha...you've no need to tell your mother about it. There is nothing wrong with sex, provided your heart and feelings are in the right place. You've done nothing wrong. Please don't feel that way.

I hope that you'll be able to work past this. I hope that in time, sex will become a meaningful and special event for you that it deserves to be. But please, know at least that you've done nothing wrong. Not in the slightest. If you take nothing else away from this, do take that. There's no need to be ashamed.

If I can do anything for you at all, please feel free to PM me.

Many hugs,
Harley