Can she possibly be both? My pdoc has two distinct approaches. The usual is soft and quiet spoke. The other is much firmer and directive. Both are him. Both are okay. Don't you have varying personality traits from time to time? Why can't your T be that way also?

If she is being firmer and it bothers you though, you need to ask her THEN AND THERE why she is using that approach and that it is making you uncomfortable. DO NOT leave her office without having that discussion or you will spiral into wild thinking immediately only to find out later she wasn't mad at you , or she didn't think it was safe for you to leave without addressing a particular topic, etc. Generally she will have a reason for changing her approach, and you can absolutely ask way.

Maybe she will have a bad day here or there, but I suspect usually there is a specific reason for what she does and it is NOT that she is mad at you or disgusted with you or hates you or wants you to leave, etc. That's the kind of thinking that she is telling you she completely understands where it is coming from, but you also need to recognize where it is coming from and slow that thinking down.

Your post was excellent. Print it off and hang it somewhere that you can remember to look when those horrible thoughts start intruding. She's a good T, Granite. Trust that she has your best interests in mind.