It's not the only job I'm applying to, and part of me would rather work somewhere else. But my urge to self-harm is getting stronger, I can't sleep because of flashbacks, I feel miserable every Sunday when I have to face my abuser. At the moment the single most important thing is to get a job and move out! No matter what...

So even if I'd rather not, if that means working with T's husband, or maybe have to find another T down the road due to this I'd rather do that than staying longer than necessary in this house. I mean, even if the room was fully redecorated, it's still the place 4 years of CSA took place and that's what's slowly killing me at the moment... I need out asap!