I am new and am looking 4 answers.I know i am Bipolar but have been misdiagnosed for years as depressed.I am 36,married with 3 children.Been with my wife since 10th grade and how she puts up with me i dont know?.I joined the Marines out of high school .The perfect place for a Crazy man.was in the infantry for 4 years .My wife lived in NY i was in Guam 18 months (seen herand year old son 21 days out of that 18 months),then stationed in California,and on Ship for 6 months,..So for the 4 years i was in I saw her and my son104 days total.my Daughter who was born the last year I was in.I was on the USS Tarawa in Somalia when she was born.When i first saw her she was a month old,I got to see her for 10 days then back to Cali..So when I came home she was 1 year old and I only saw her 10 days..Needless to say as a Machine gunner in the Marines i was Drinkin fighting and cursingfor years ,then i have to come home now and be a family man and get a real job.I worked in a factory for a year and a half ,drinkin a lot even at lunch time.Then i took the Postal test and became a Mailman in 1995.Thats my story .
Whenever i do something i do it 150 percent then get bored after a couple of weeks or months and then find something else to do.I worked 40 hours a week then would mow 13 lawns on the side to make money.My wife would complain I dont spend time at home,but i thought i was a hero cuz i was bringing home more money.So igave up mowin and started lifting weights at the gym,everyday,buying protein and all the other gimmicks,,that lasted 3 or 4 months,then i would golf twice a week,that lasted couple years,
I am always thinking of how to make money.Constantly .If i sell my 1988 truck for 800.00 and then buy another one for 500.00.I would have 300.00 .Stupid thoughts constantly like that,,Then i would go to church 2 or 3 times a week read the Bible everyday and be a good guy..(no drinkin or fightin or even confrontations).But then i felt like a Wussy,.
i would try to explain the bible how I understood it and people would make me feel Dumb or to extreme.The bible is to hard to live up to ,Turn the other cheek,forgive people who wrong you no matter what.
I would love 2 talk to a pschiatrist but they cost money,and i just couldnt pay someone to listen to me ,cuz all i would be thinking about is how much more work i will have to take on to pay this guy ..
I need advice ..
mark