Mark,

are you seeing a doctor at all? do you have a general practioner? could you get a referral to a psychiatrist? perhaps looking into the medical side of things to help achieve some stability before you start talking with someone about the heavy stuff you've dealt with in your life.

it is wonderful that you take pride in providing for your family. the constant thoughts of money seem like they're intrusive and interrupting your daily life. often when thoughts become like that it can be a sign of the brain being out of balance (biploar being one disease/disorder that can flare up when that delicate balance is out of whack). learning that there is no shame in dealing with mental illness can be a huge start toward getting better.

are you willing to try therapy? are you willing to try to see a medical doctor?

these questions will better help with any advice offered up here.

good luck. thanks for taking the chance to post and thanks for telling so much in your first post.