Quote:
Originally Posted by charo224488
Yes, unfortunately meds will change your emotional responses to unnatural. I have BP1 and have been on every med out there- trying for the last 20 yrs. to fix myself. Today I realized, as my dr. handed me samples for yet another new med that just hit the market, that I am not fixable. I will never be fixed- none of us will. We are broken and may feel 'happy' at times, but it will not last, and we all know it. So yes, this is your new normal. I'm sorry you are struggling with this horrific illness, and I wish you the best. I'm also sorry this is sad and angry and hopeless, but that is what this is and what I am and we are not fixable.
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I am incredibly sorry you feel this way. God knows I've felt this way myself. Most recently just in November. And I am sorry you have found nothing at all that has helped. But I disagree that all of us are "broken". I am not. I know that even if I stay on meds they will eventually stop working and I will have to find something else. But I also know that I can achieve a baseline, if only for a little while. That's all I can ask for. I don't ask for a cure. I just ask for management. I am sorry you have not been able to find anything that helps. But some of us can, so please don't call us all broken and hopeless. I am certainly not.
I don't mean to anger you. I know where you are coming from. It is a dark terrible place that I'm sure I will visit again. But I'll make it out alive.
Good luck to you. I hope you find some semblance of peace, if only for a little while.
