Hi!

I can not say how much a relief this page is. I feel so lost and confused and feel like you all may be the support and knowledge I need to figure this out. Here is my story and I'd love some advice.

My husband and I met abroad when I was 18. We fell in love like a fairy tale beaches, wine, food, money flowing and nothing to worry about. While being away on different work contracts I found out he had lied to me about a few details his age, his parents being divorced. None the less I got over it after taking a break and we continued to love and work abroad. Since then moved home (6 years ago) opened my business, got married, had baby. I opened up my own business which has boomed but grown so fast that I have had to expand and need all the help I can get. (Which he doesn't not help, only dictate and tell me what I'm doing wrong or better yet telling me how I have screwed up). Which I know I haven't I have been supporting us while he went through 6 months of non paid training for work. This is just the start of it, my son was premature and my husband blames me for all his health issues (premie, had to have bowel surgery, was unable to breastfeed). He's also told me I'm unattractive, that he doesn't like me, that I constantly mess up everything). This week was his birthday and my son has been sick and we talked about maybe cancelling his birthday dinner with his friends I had planned. He told me that it was for my satisfaction not for his birthday, I was so mad and after several nights of no sleep I lost it. And sent a long message of my frustrations. I said he was making me feel awful for trying to do something special, that on the sleepless nights he yells at me like why I can't get him to sleep and bangs on the walls. It was his birthday today and I just didn't know what to say... I have him his present and wrote a special card and got stuff for a nice dinner after work I was also at the hospital all day with our baby so didn't get to see him till after work. But I can't bear to sit with him and have a quiet night. I don't know what to say.... Does anyone feel like they just have no fight left? Don't know what to say? I feel like I want to leave and find a happy life even if it's just me and my little man.

Ps I caught him on a dating while my son was in and out of the hospital.

Help please !