Quote:
Originally Posted by MissyB0201
I'm originally from Victoria, BC. I'm currently living in Alberta in a very isolated town. Courtney is pretty small. You may need to travel for support groups. I don't have any options here, the nearest city being over 3 hours away. I push people away too. I've been avoiding replying to a text that was sent to me 2 days ago. A friend that regularly asks me to hang out, even though I cancel or decline. I suppose it's because we're military. I don't really know why she bothers. Anyways, I understand what you are feeling. Since childhood I have kept one friend. I let everyone else go or don't bother to allow people in my life. I am lonely though. I just don't want the commitment of being a friend. Does that make sense?
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Hi Missy
Yes it makes perfect sense to me. The amount of work it is to put on a 'normal' or happy face is exhausting and not wanting to bring people down with my own problems and sadness makes me push friends away... despite being and feeling so alone. Its a vicious cycle and it takes so much out of me to make a friendship work like I should. I have a few friends I have kept over the years.. .but like you I have an email from her sitting in my inbox for days now and I really do not want to respond. I hate pretending that I am ok. I also hate admitting life is hard and that I am struggling. So my answer is to just ignore.
Thanks for your message... it helps me to feel like not as big of a screw up as I normally feel.