It sounds like the main source of your childhood trauma was indeed being traumatized. Was your family your "soft place to land", as DR Phil calls it? Its okay if a brother teases you SOME of the time. But if its ALL of the time, and there is no kindness, no inclusion, as there was not with my brother, then no relationship is ever built. He says to me now, "but im your BROTHER!" And honestly, i dont know what that means. We dont really have a shared history. Teasing, scaring, insulting, assaulting isnt sharing. I felt like they were just waiting to be rid of me. Its hard to face, but its harder not to face it.