I'm sorry, i didn't mean to sound so cold. I don't really get the whole BDSM scene either but if i loved someone enough i would try and meet her halfway. Or i might enjoy it after all. I guess theres no love left between you and your husband so i guess what other people say is the way to go. Look after yourself first. You really should sit down with him and talk it out though i think. Unless you think he might be violent or whatever. You know him better than we do. Must be very hard for you and i wish you well.