Hey there, I think the problem you are facing is quite common - men often need that cool-down phase and women need to talk IMMEDIATELY. I'm running into some of the same problems with the guy I'm dating right now. If you can find a compromise with how to fight - that would help. What is some gesture he could show you that would mean he cares? What's something you can do when he's mad at you to have him feel respected?

My temporary solution with my much shorter term boyfriend is to be able to get a hug from him just to show he cares, and for me to keep my cool better and not let my thoughts get out of hand - when I think he's ignoring me I take everything too personally. It's hard because in my experience often the man won't know what he wants/needs ... but the compromise has to go both ways. My goal would be to learn how to fight in a way that hurts both of you less.

good luck! and to PC