Sorry if this is a bit inappropriate, but I couldn't find a better place to put it.

First of all, I'm a bisexual trans woman in my mid-20s, and I transitioned a few years ago, and to be honest, I've ended up at a fairly good stage, and I live with my boyfriend, who I love more than anything else in the world. He's just the loveliest man I could ask for. However... my sex drive is really quite low, and on the occasions when I do try masturbating, I often end up doing so over 'shemale' porn. I feel really bad about it, because I feel like it fetishises a part of those women that isn't their entire self, and yet a lot of them are so attractive... Other times it's just over gay porn, or straight porn, or lesbian porn (rarely because it always seems a bit fake), and I don't feel so bad. But I struggle to orgasm with my partner, and I worry that I've become such a sexual deviant that I can't get turned on with an actual person... and I do fancy him a lot.

I just wish I wasn't turned on by those things. Yes, I like women, and yes, I like penises (a lot more than I like vaginas), but I feel like such a bad person because of it, and it's bothering me a lot inside... What does everyone else think?