If I do it, I go to prison for the rest of my life. If I don't do it I still live in prison for the rest of my life. Not even sure which way is better??

I am hidden from the world, suffer in silence, and am waiting to live my life. I go deeper and deeper into their hole and there is no way out. I have no money, a dead end job, no friends, no motivations to do anything.

they have handicapped me into someone who is bitter, frustrated, unstable, angry, severely depressed, and full of panic. I hate everyone and everything and see no way out.