It sounds to me like dissociation, which can take a lot of different forms. It's a way of coping with overwhelming feelings or situations. The numbness is part of that, too. It's a common thing among survivors of abuse and neglect.

I don't remember whether or not you're in therapy, SS. Are you? If so, this is something to talk about in therapy. (I don't say that to discourage you from talking about it here, too, though. I think a lot of us can relate!)

SweetCrusader

comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable