honestally i don't know how i feel there are still a lot of things that i don't get i don't trust and am confused .that mixed with memories and just messiness . i just don't know . i am trying so hard not to make the relationship i have with my T the focus of my T. i see that a lot here and i don't really know if it is good,helpfull or anything. but so much of me wants to believe she doesn't feel im vile .but she never said why she decided not to call me back or why she decided after i said what i said she didn't talk to me and sat there. why the big change . i don't know what i did wrong she says i didn't do anything .then why ??? but i am trying to let that go .i do need to ask her about the calling because if she is taking that away with everything else i don't know what to do. i don't think she is though but i cant tell.