I feel I just have to keep this one secret from her (not the other parts of the transference but the googling). I mean I saw a picture of her BED (from a real estate listing, a simple google on her addresss), all her yearbook photos, and her yachts (yes, more than one). I feel I have violated her privacy. Even though i envy her now, she has become even more idealized than before. My life was full of neglect and want for everything. I feel also we have this deep connection because we are exactly the same age and both went to Episcopal churches (yes, i know a lot). I picture her doing all the same rituals at the same time. It is a nice feeling but something I can't share with her because she'd know I was snooping. Also even though she seemed to be very priviliged growning up - she seems to be a lovely person, not a snobbish bone in her body.

Thank you to everyone for all the replies, helped me analyze this in a healthy way and so glad I'm not the only one who has done this