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Originally Posted by here today
Welcome, ynwa.
Can you be more specific about what the life is that you want, and what seems to be making that impossible?
I’ve been in and out of therapy for 50 years and, ultimately, living your life is the important thing. Perhaps you could relieve some of your concerns if you consulted a psychologist – or perhaps you would be led deeper into a morass that would not be helpful and is not necessary, at least not right now. Maybe you want to go on the self-exploration journey anyway? And maybe if you put it off, a need for it could become unavoidable later. But I don't know of any way that anybody could tell that for sure right now.
You are still young and I am old (66!). The most I can say is, life is complicated!! Could it help to focus on the life that you want and work only on what’s keeping you from that? What you want from life could change, too, but that is part of what makes life complicated.
I think the PD diagnoses can be helpful (mine has been to me) but ultimately they are not who we are and the categories and understanding about what causes PD's and what helps make them better changes too.
I hope this helps some. Best wishes!  |
I've been interested in seeing a psychologist for a while now, but I often just think to myself - "Get on with it, there is nothing wrong with you!". Sometimes I question whether or not I actually want to make myself have a PD, which is strange in itself. In saying that though, reading over what I have wrote, that is definitely not 'normal' behaviour.
In regards to your question on what I want in life (which is a very good question), I don't know myself. Something other than this mundane life, that is full of pressures and devoid of rewards. I guess I want to either have a life of solitude, free of pressure, not having to deal with people and the demands of the world we live in. That, or at least live an 'exciting' life that at least rewards the exhausting work put in. That's a problem though, as I don't really get enjoyment from many things. I just don't see either of these lives as attainable. They just don't seem possible.
I feel I am destined to a life of mediocrity & irrelevance. Groundhog day.
Thanks for your reply.