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Originally Posted by neutrino
SallyBrown, you are awesome.
Thank you for what you wrote and thank you for being so clear and rational. To be honest I don't even really know how to respond to your post. When I read it I thought "she's right, I can do it" and I thought that maybe I shouldn't let fear force me to stay put. Perhaps trying another therapist or another kind of therapy won't kill me. Perhaps I could find a therapist who understands me (maybe not fully but more than my current one does) and perhaps I could find someone who I really feel like I can trust. I bet therapy's better when you feel like you can trust your therapist properly.
I still haven't made up my mind and I'm still terrified of making the wrong decision but you've stated some really good things and I will certainly take them into account while trying to figure this whole thing out (of course I'll take everyone's opinions into account but your post really hit home somehow).
Looking forward to hear what you've got to say about the questions.
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I think one thing I may have in common with you is that I can be a really big over-thinker. And these thoughts are all thoughts I have had about something or another at various points in my life. Fear can be blinding to even the most intense of over-thinkers.
Self-confidence definitely doesn't come naturally to me, but I've found it helps to fake it. If I can convince my very intellectual self that it makes sense to try, every time I make it through, it helps a little bit.
Still, almost every time a major life change happens, it's all I can do not to dissolve into a weepy puddle of "I can't". Knowing this has helped me, as I can tell the people closest to me that, although it's my responsibility to find my courage, sometimes I need help to keep my courage going, and I just need to keep hearing "Yes you f-ing can!" to keep my mind in the right place.
Even now, I'm due to have a baby in 5 months, and so my H and I have been talking about how he can help during labor and delivery. I told him the usual... hold my hand, bring me ice chips, advocate for me to the nurses and doctors present. And of course, my most important request: "Just keep reminding me that I can do it."
I'll get to your questions when I can!
