Hi there,
I confess I didn't read your entire post, I distract, it isn't you.
I have a question and it is coming from a Bipolar-II(mild) person, me, Aren't you on some mood stabilizer? First course of action with Bipolar is to start the patient on a mood stabilizer, there are several ones so if one doesn't work for you or your body cannot tolerate the pdoc can switch you.
They do take a few weeks to really kick in, sometimes the pdoc will give AD's along with the mood stabilizer if the patient is in an extreme depressive episode.
Other things like Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin is also sometimes added to the mix too if you are having anxiety, but extremem caution should be used, do not take this stuff every day, only as needed, it is addictive and most pdocs will only dispense 15 tablets of say, Ativan a month, helps prevent a person from using it daily, just for an example.
I use to feel like a tortured soul too, and went through a near fatal depression (long story) but by getting professional help and sticking with mood stabilizers as prescribed has change my life, I mean I do not go around smiling all the time nor am I very pleasant all the time, but treatment has made all the difference, I feel better in my soul despite some heavy duty things that took place the past 4 years.
I hope and wish you see a good pdoc and see if he or she can try some mood stabilizers on you, it may help a great deal.
I am sending you ((((((((((((((((((( ghost ))))))))))))))))))))
and good wishes for luck with this, I know it is a tough thing but just hang in there and see therapist and/or pdoc, if you are not already in treatment and if you are not seeing good results son, see if you can get a new one.

Lots of love and luck to you,

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON