I think he was right in trying to help you think about what you may want to learn how to look for in a potential partner.

What you "love" about him is that he is "listening to you" and is trying to actually help you. That is what a truly "healthy" partner or parent would do, that is what you most likely missed in your life, that is what is the root of BPD is.

Just because he saw the transference taking shape even before you did, that isn't because you are all that transparent, it is something that actually happens a lot when a patient is getting something they went without for often most of their life, especially in their childhood.

I give him credit for not referring you out to someone else, it is a challenge to help a patient get to a point where they too can learn to understand this.

OE