As some of you may know, I'm a psychology student at university. This semester I'm taking a class on "Religion & Society" where you do a research essay on a topic of your choice.

We're allowed to choose a topic outlined in the course, and we can tie it to our major as well.

For some reason, the realm of religious self-mutilation was interesting to me, I'm betting because of my SIng behaviour.

So guess who decides to choose that as her topic?

ME! And now I'm sorely regretting that decision.

It's pretty bad that just when doing research that you trigger yourself pretty badly.

I'm taking a break after just half an hour of research because any more reading right now could lead to bad behaviour on my part.

Who would have thought that to escape the world of self-injuring that you self-injure to cope? I didn't think it was possible, but here I sit thinking about it anyways...

Please don't say something as simplistic as "just change your topic"... I have three weeks to write this paper and can't change my topic now. Not allowed, paper topic is chosen.

I just hope that this paper doesnt trigger me to the point where I slip into my old routine again ... I want to, but I don't want to (cognitively and intellectually).

blah. sorry felt the need to rant.