I came to a realization today. I just am not meant to live with other people.

While I am sure others with manic-depressive illness can have normal lives, I personally can not. My heightened emotional states are just too much for me to handle not to mention the people around me. If they do love me, they learn to hate me after a while.

Before I know I had m-d, I lived alone. I went to work, I came home, I played video games till I went to bed. No roller-coaster of emotions triggered by a relationship. I was hardly ever triggered into over-the-top emotional responses. I had other problems with money and some bad decision making, but I did not have the extremes of emotion that I do now.

I know quite a few of my peers here are in happy, healthy relationships. I don't doubt someone with m-d can live a wonderful life surrounded by people that love them. I am just not one of those people and I need come to terms with it.