Thread: Talking..
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Old Jan 25, 2014, 04:33 PM
Harley47's Avatar
Harley47 Harley47 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,957
Hi Maranara. Long time no see. I hope things, on the whole, are going well?

This is naturally a very hard topic to broach...with your added communication difficulties (which I am sorry is the case...it's such a shame and so wrong that you were denied the help you sought when little ), I understand how insurmountable this must seem.

I don't blame you for your decision whatsoever. I, as a bit of...personal policy, I suppose, almost never tell married couples they should or shouldn't separate or consider separation in all but the most extreme circumstances. I've never felt it my place to make that decision nor do I feel completely comfortable advising such a major thing either way. But I do think your husband showed a staggering degree of indifference in his actions...for you to muster up so much courage to open up to him as you did and for him to totally ignore it is *incredibly* cold. Coupled with whatever else is going on...suffice to say, I am behind you 100%.

As far as how? I've been thinking over this for about a day now (I saw and read your topic yesterday on my phone, but I'm awful at typing long entries on it. It doesn't really like the way PC's quick replies scroll), and I've come up with two potential ways. The first is what you've already acknowledged. You could write the reasoning down and give it to him. Granted, I know that was difficult the first time and it was ignored, but you could pressure him into reading it. If you start it off in a manner that gets his attention, I think he'll read it. Of course, he should read it regardless of any "hook," but if you're worried he'll simply skim it, that could help.

Secondly, you could tell him yourself...certainly the more difficult choice, but there's no way he wouldn't receive the message. As far as easing your fear, try to prepare your side of the conversation in your head, and practice in front of the mirror. I'm thinking that might potentially make it easier for you...do you think that'd be benefical? The downside is that rehearsal doesn't account for the fluid nature of conversation...you can't feasibly expect to anticipate everything and formulate a response to every possibility of his speech. But you could, at the very least, have a strong foundation to go off of, and having it practiced could ease your nerves.

Another random idea...do you think you could record what your have to say and have him listen to it?

If I think of anything else, I will happily let you know. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers, and if I can do anything for you, I'm only a PM away.

Hugs,
Harley
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The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte
Thanks for this!
Maranara