I admire you.

I don't feel in control of myself or feel that I have the ability to make my life any better. Things seem very futile for me a lot of the time.

I will wish the best for you and hope that things turn out well.

I don't know if this will help you, but it does me to a degree...
My Mother always said, "I did the best I could with the resources available to me."

You do the best you can and that is all we can all hope to do.

*sends gentle hugs*