I've been married for 10 years, dated for 3 before that. she's the first/only woman I've been with. 3 kids leaving is NOT an option, but neither is living like I have been.
it's hard for me to find the words here, so please bear with me.
when we were dating, our sex life was great, as a matter of fact, I couldnt get her to stop, I was worn out most of the time. she got pregnant and we bumped up our wedding date by 6 months. on my wedding night I came back for round 2 and she learned a new phrase "leave me alone, I'm tired". ever since then our sexual relationship has been the huge source of tension in our life. I feel cheated. she turned into a 1x a month quickie type I'm still a 2x a day level of sex drive. we've tried scheduling, I've tried doing all the sappy romantic crap, (which I really don't mind that much, until it's unnoticed and unappreciated). when we try to discuss our issues to find some sort of solution, she invariably begins screaming, two days ago she was literally stomping her feet while yelling at me, on the back porch for the neighborhood to hear nonetheless, I have done everything that she's demanded, suggested or hinted at and nothing seems to help, it's gotten to the point now that when she DOES initiate sex (she has to initiate, if I try to it's "pestering" even if I only try 1x in a day or two) I have trouble functioning because I am so depressed and stressed over our relationship. we tried counseling and she walked out on the second session when the therapist suggested that perhaps, maybe, it's NOT all the husbands fault. she accuses me of being a sex addict (I say I'm just a guy), but I've been faithful to her and don't even look at porn. I can't masturbate (doesn't work, weird huh),, and have hit scary levels of depressed at this point. she is completely unwilling to find a solution that doesn't involve my attempting to reach her ideal, and her moving the ideal further away as I fight toward it. I'm a guy, I need sex, I'm also the dumbass who actually wants feeling with it. I don't know how to get her to listen. don't know if anyone can get her to listen.
divorce is not an option
infidelity is not an option
porn is not an option
masturbation w/o porn is not an option
I need help and have no idea what to do, does anyone here have any suggestions? I know I ruled a lot of stuff out, but it's where my situation is.
thanks.