She loved me, like she loved me like a girlfriend. I'm not gay, but we dated and broke up because I realized I wasn't into girls. We were really good friends, but I feel all the emotions were one-sided. She loved and depended on me. I don't think I can love anyone. I don't love my parents either, but it's easier to say so because it's more pleasant and convenient for everyone to be happy. But last night my friend found out I never loved her back, and she got really angry at me. I tried to explain that I don't love anyone, or that I DO, but not in a way that is meaningful to anyone. I love everyone and everything in a very passive way. The world is not perfect and I'm okay with that, I like our mutual indifference. But she couldn't understand anything that was different from how she thinks. I don't know how she could think we could love each other when I exist in my own world. I always have and I always will. There is a wall between me and everyone else in the world. We can yell over it and I can describe my side, but no one but me will ever see it. I don't even know why I am writing this anymore. I'm not lonely, I don't even know if I will miss her now that she is gone. I just feel perfectly alone.