thanks guys

@cannibalcutie

If I'd be allowed to look the way I want to look, it'd not be too drastically different. Just long hair, earrings and accessories and a little something else maybe. Honestly, I feel lucky because my face matches the way I want to look like, there's not much I'd like to change about my face. I got my looks from my mother, and as a kid, some would need a double take to know if i'm a boy or a girl. I feel kind of blessed, this way. Honestly, how many people can say that? I have honestly pulled off the look without much effort, and it's satisfying as all hell.

As for society, I live in a backward, conservative place, and I risk breaking the hearts of people I care, and also even being shunned by people around me, they don't have an understanding, nor do they want to try and understand. I dream of going to a better place, I don't want everyone to accept me, but a few who understand. At least unlike my place, where people automatically think there's something wrong with you.

I just want to look the way I feel inside, look what feels natural to me, I don't think it's too much to ask, but is it?

I've had bad luck with the women, nobody understands, they just don't seem to be attracted to the submissive qualities I have, some understand, some respect it, but it's ultimately not what they want on a permanent basis. I keep looking.

Thanks for the term, "genderfluid". I'm looking over it, and it's probably the closest it gets to describing me, so far.