A person who walks out of a therapy session at the mere mention that she just might not be the center of the universe is not someone you can negotiate with, I am afraid. I know that infidelity is not an option nor would I suggest it, but I wonder if you have ever threatened her with anything, such as infidelity but maybe something else, and if so, what her reaction was. I am wondering because you have clearly tried all the peaceful tools and have exhausted them, so maybe you should start being less amiable and shake her notion that you are a permanent fixture in the house. She is clearly taking you for granted - that is for sure. A guy like you who wants sex with feeling no porn no infidelity willing to do the romance crap and the whole nine yards you describe is WORTH HIS WEIGHT IN GOLD on the marriage market. She is clueless and does not know it, but you should know it.

I went to Seattle in December. The weather was so dreary it cannot be described in words. I returned to California and since then, literally every time I go outside, I appreciate the shining sun and the tall blue skies. Before I went to Seattle, I didn't appreciate the weather but took it for granted. Your wife needs to go to Seattle of some sorts, but I do not know what kind...