Hi Rapunzel.....It's got to be difficult even thinking about dating after all you have been through in your marriage.

Personally I think guy #1 who has already told you he loves you when he really doesn't know you that well either.....is jumping the guy by a whole lot....sounds like he might think that by telling you he loves you it will TRAP you into staying with him....especially since you are doing all the driving & taking him places. I know my response to his statement would have been......"that's impossible because you don't know me well enough to even determine those kinds of feelings". I actually remember telling a few guys I dated in college that exact same thing when they pulled that line on me. I dated my H for a year before we got married....& now I realize that I didn't LOVE him even before we got married & definitely not after either....& it never grew.

I think it's good for you to take a long time getting to know guy #2 & guy #1....that way you can really compare.....yes, it's ok to make sure you find the right guy if you are really interested in finding one.....but definitely take your time....look at the big picture. If you can't even get enough work to support yourself....there is NO way you need to get tied up with someone who can't even pull their own weight in the relationship let alone anything more serious than marriage.

You don't own either of them any explanation about anything. I was going out once in a while with a guy who I knew was just a friend & who I let know that was where our relationship was.....he liked riding horses which was where I met him & it was nice to have someone to ride with....but he was CONTROLLING & it was a red flag I would never put up with in a close relationship.....I could keep him at a good distance just being friends but even that was a challenge.....it wasn't until after I met the guy I ended up getting married to & it wasn't until after we decided that we were going to get married that I told the other guy about him.

As for your mental health issues....you seriously don't own them any information on that unless you are going to make the relationship into a serious & permanent relationship IMO..........if for some reason it comes up in conversation at some point as related to something that's going on in the relationship that you feel an explanation would help.....maybe then I might say something.....but my personal information is PRIVATE....until I have opened my door for them to enter into my private life....& that would only happen when a relationship gets serious....otherwise....don't bother....just enjoy their company & the chance to do things with someone & see where your feelings go from here. Definitely NOT something I would quickly jump into.

Saying that however.....there have been many times lately where I truly with that I had married the right man.....I if God does have the right person out there in the future.......God will definitely let me know....as I am NOT going to make that same mistake twice & end up with the wrong person.....but it sure would be nice to have someone else there who could help me take care of life as it does get complicated & I do love living on the farm & not in the city.....& it's difficult to keep up all the work alone especially not having the money to pay for help.......I haven't even finished the divorce yet it's complicated from 2100 miles away & not being able to get back out there to get my things in the first place....I basically left everything when I left except what I could fit in one medium sized moving truck I drove from Calif to KY that fall.

I can definitely understand NOT wanting to be alone.....but I can also see a lot of good reasons for continuing to be alone if you don't really find the right person. I think if 2 people both get to know each other really well & then decide that marriage is the right thing......that is the time to explain any mental health issues so that you can work out any of those issues (which really should have come up already in a relationship while getting to know each other if it was going to be a problem).....hope what I'm trying to say makes sense????.....like while getting to know each other you can feel the things that feel awkward...but if you both get to the point where you both decide that you are interested in getting married at that point it's time to work out those awkward feeling issues......then time to get married assuming those things can be worked through.