I've been in an off on again relationship with a man for the past year. We are both in our mid fifties, are professionals and always have a great time together. Problem is, he's not in love with me. While we're both highly functional, we're both nuts. I think he is mildly borderline, he puts people on pedestals then throws them in the gutter when he realizes they're human. He has frequent emotional sways, He's a bit compulsive when shopping. He has too much art, too many motorcycles, etc., it's plain weird. I think internet dating is now one of his compulsions. Just as he sits all day sifting through eBay for art or spot iffy for music, he sifts through online profiles by the hour, almost everyday!

He has friended women on fb occasionally who are so wrong for him, I've come to suspect he develops penpal relationships and toys with the emotions of these women. Eww. I believe he does this for the ego stroke. He's very charming. He also goes after local women who are more his type and he toys with them too. Sometimes he finds perfection but it blows up quickly because she's human, more often he'll take the woman out multiple times, showing them a great time ( he is great company!) because he likes them as people, but they ask him where it's going and he says nowhere.. They become angry because they feel toyed with and he tailspins into manic depression because he's been called on the carpet and doesn't understand their anger.

This is when our relationship goes back on again for a couple months until he gets bored or meets someone online who seems pedestal worthy. We've ended things about five times, each time initiated by him and executed like a jr high schooler, meaning he's run away without a word, won't answer calls, etc. each time he's handled it progressively better so there's been some emotional growth, but still. This time he's not bothering to slam the door in my face. It's strange... He's texting me, and says nice playful things, asked me earlier this week if I'd mind researching a vacation to Europe and offered to pay for it, but I haven't seen him for a week and a half..two weekends and not a date. I know he's out meeting women from the sites.

So my problem is this. I'm obsessed. I keep thinking he'll come around and realize I'm the one. But I know in my head I need to end this thing. I have no intention spending 2014 on the roller coaster I lived on in 2013. I love him, we talk about music, literature, art all with a very intelligent humor. Our physical relationship could not be better. I've spent a lot of time internet dating too and would say most of my dates have been death by boredom. He makes me ecstatic in so many ways, still, I must end it. I am not loved, he comes back to me not for me, but when he needs comfort and unconditional love. He wines, dines and entertains me par excellence, for the comfortable companionship and I give him my love. But it is all about him. I'm tired of feeling inadequate.

How do I leave him?

Sorry for the long post?