What does "cougar" mean to you? I see you are in Texas, I imagine ranchers deal with cougars, etc. but other people call them other things, "mountain lion" or "panther" in other parts of the United States. I was curious though and read your post because I was wondering if you were referring to an older woman, like the new TV show, "Cougar Town" Cougar Town Season 4 Official Site :-) and maybe there was a "bad mother" sort of thing going on in your unconscious or your father had a mistress at some point, younger than your mother (my grandfather did) that sort of thing, like an older woman may have "preyed" on you and you wish(ed) you had an older male, father-figure sort of person to help you with those feelings/situations?