Hello everybody,

In the evening there mostly comes the urge to eat, eat much, eat till I faint. I suppress my feelings by eating, suppress my inner guidance`s voice.

I want to do what leads me to well being, I want to do what`s good for me, but I consciously chose to eat, chose irresponsibility, chose weakness, chose self-injuring, chose suffering. I consciously lower my self-esteem by eating till faint, I know I chose the wrong, I know all the consequences of the decision to binge eat, and I know that well being waits on the other side, but I still chose to stay in the consciousness of irresponsibility, weakness, of a victim.

I consciously deny creator awareness, deny to evolve, deny to live in love, deny myself, my higher self, my soul, god, deny my well being, deny love.
I still see myself as a weak, impotent boy, still feel jailed. I seem to hate myself deeply to be able to hurt myself that much.

Eating is not the only addiction to hold myself in that low state of awareness. I also use some other tools like watching TV, playing computer games, and some other things doing online.

How do I break out of this vicious circle? I want to live, want to be creator, want to live my power, want to grow, want to evolve, but how?

I now consciously chose to live, I chose well being, I chose to love, love myself, love everybody, love everything, unconditionally love. I chose to be creator, I chose to live my strength, I chose to walk the path I am dedicated to, I chose to fullfill my life task!
You heard me, I`ve chosen my way, you may be my witnesses.
Thanks.