I don't l know where to start,so if this post is jumbled,i do apologize upfront .
We had an argument again(one of oh so many) with my husband and he told me i am the most negative person and he is sick tolerating it,because he is very positive and loving,and my negativity towards him and his parents affects kids attitude to them.To retrace:yeasterday he asked me to fill out applications for license ,which, I mentioned to him before,require immediate payment and site does not allow to save the profile unless paid.I was tense while filling out applications,because it was his info,I asked him several times questions to be correct,which he didn't like as he was reading the book.Ok ,I understand,but kind of was hurt little by his tone,especially when he got upset about payment and refused to admit i told him about it.When I told him I am nervous about computer applications and very odd questionaries, he replied in harsh tone"Can't or don't want to do it,don't!I'll do it later".Eventually I erased all the info because he didn't want to pay without secure job offer(which I understand).Since that point he was cold and distant to me.like it was my fault,and I became more resenting and shut down (I am tired of hurting).We were supposed to take kids to the show,which was our daughter's bday present.Well,my son decided through a fit,which upsetted my already upset since yesterday H more and he told my son to stay home if he does not want to join the family affair(agree).Well,my daughter said in upset and tense voice that "he is coming!,I said he is coming".Well ,make it short one by one he told kids to come out of the car,they are not going anywhere and he stormed off ,after i tried to calm him down and explain my our daughter's behavior,I got yelled at,so I slammed the car door and got out.
I did have an extensive talk with kids about appropriateness of their behavior,and for millionth time told them that their fathers decision is not to be disobeyed.I called my H later to ask him to return so we can peacefully go to the show,as it was my daughters 1 year wish."you are dYsfunctional,I will never go out with them,especially with you,as you are most negative person,you are good outside,but inside the family you are not a positive person,and your negativity to me affects kids."So he let kids go with my sister in law,i finish my work and came home to talk to him. Started nicely that i really understand that my yelling at kids likely repulses him,but I never ever did anything close to turn kids against him.Meanwhile,I am thinking,that I would like a hope myself,I am tired of feeling lonely,but if I dare to that up,I'm not sure what disaster would 've happen. He did't let me finish or talk,he said to get out of room,he has headache because i and we upsetted him,he does not want to see me.The expression on his face said if I ask one more question or talk more or wouldn't leave the room,he would blow and be close to physical.
This is not the first time,or 10th.
So the question is for you guys,what am I doing wrong?,I played by his rules as much as I could and defended him and supported if kids were hurt or upset.I do everything for his family,who lives with us.I would greatly appreciate male input also,to understand my H.stand point.
thank you