> I am able to write things and write thing over and over and over again and still feel really down.

yeah. there is a difference between revisiting times past and working through times past.

i guess that is where i found other people's input to be invaluable. i go around these circles in my head... and sometimes another person would manage to find their way in and help break me out. of course, sometimes not... but most often i'd never have said that to my t anyway lol