so its been a week. i havent messaged him he hasnt messaged me. i miss him. i know its not healthy to dwell on someone that doesnt want me but here i am doing it. ive been going back over the things he said to me and why i decided to break things off. and even though i know that it was the right thing to do considering he was constantly tellin me he wasnt sticking around i am hurt that he told me he finally found someone he wants to stick around for. what a jerkface. whyd he have to tell me he found someone better than me. im a good person i can understand him not being happy with me because i broke up but why be a jerk when i try and make up. and to have moved on so quickly with someone so far away to boot. i normally would fight but not this time. why am i not worth it???? thats where this line of thinking takes me. to me not being worth something worth fighting for. now im alone and hes with someone being all happy from what i know. i know this is back and forth on my part where i am the one that ended it but also that tried to get back together. maybe i should make sure where i stand before i make snap judgements. thats what breaking up was a spur of the moment thing that happened without me even thinking about it. it just happened the words came out and it was over. in recall it was totally surreal. i didnt want to be left so i left. i dont know as if i saw an ending when i was breaking up. im not even sure why exactly i did it as my original conversation was to invite him over for new years not to break up:\
look its been a month since weve been apart but a week since he messaged me last it shouldnt bother me this much for this long. it was only a few months out of my life.
how do you stop this train of thought when it just brings you down.