Before I went to seek professional help for possibly having bipolar disorder, I just realized that I think I had a 'mixed episode' due to my GP thinking I had anxiety/major depression and prescribing me Celexa.

I had gone through so many major depressive episodes before and now thinking about it hypomanic as well.
What really got me going to my pdoc was the last few months of my senior year of college. I think a whole bunch of triggers got me into this mixed state.

I solely relied on alcohol and drugs to numb out emotional pain from my past because I kept having racing crazy thoughts and was cutting while sobbing uncontrollably on the bathroom floor. I was also bulimic at the time and tried to throw up anything I drank and ate. My mind was going 1000 mph with my racing thoughts but they were suicidal/depressive. I never want to go through that again. It was the worst experience I had ever had and I feel so embarrassed to share with anyone. But hopefully I came to the right place so I can get some help with questions I have about this disorder!

At this point in my life I am going through denial that I am bipolar only because I mentioned it as a possibly to my pdoc and she agreed with me. Sometimes I think I have borderline. So what does a mixed episode look/feel like to you guys??

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