Thanks to my mental health issues and a plethora of traumatic experiences in my early adulthood, I've felt every emotion deeply. In a way, it's good. I'm a more compassionate, empathetic, creative, and stronger person because of it. However, this makes it hard for me to want to get to know people. Everyone seems so boring, turned off by anything "heavy", and unable to understand me. I like me, but I get lonely.

I am moving to China in a month. I'm really excited, but also scared. If I can't develop good relationships where I grew up, will I be able to have a social life overseas. It doesn't help that I don't speak Mandarin.

Also, I sometimes act in ways that are unconventional and it's hard to see that when you are as black and white with your thinking as me. What are some strategies that I could maybe work on to improve this?

I have significantly cut back on my drinking and am sleeping more, so maybe I'll be better than I was in Europe. Idk.