This is my first post in this forum, but I have been lurking for a while. I could use some feedback and support from the community.

I have been in individual therapy for chronic Major Depressive Disorder since March, 2013. I see my therapist on a weekly basis (I have seen her approximately 40 times.) Her treatment modality is CBT (she does not think highly of psychodynamic psychotherapy), but she also practices Schema Therapy which focuses on attachment issues. She does not think I meet criteria for any personality disorder. I have never self-harmed, been suicidal, nor have I struggled with addiction (I consider myself fortunate).

Until our last session, I felt my therapist and I had a strong working relationship. She is very intelligent, reasonable, and is firm with boundaries. I never contact her in between sessions and do not push boundaries, so it has not been an issue. She's appropriately attuned, and I respond well to the level of warmth and empathy she provides. In short, I have the outmost respect for her as a professional.

I have developed quite a strong erotic transference (I'm a bisexual female), but I have decided not to address it since most CBT practitioners don't see analysis of transference as a key component of therapy. She has never brought up the therapeutic relationship because it has not been an issue.

In therapy, I constantly bring up that my greatest fear is that I am somehow "different" from others in a bad way, and that when people really get to know me they pull away, reject me, and abandon me. There have been instances of this happening in my life, and they have been very traumatic for me. This fear, has kept me from opening up to others and forming close relationships. I rarely share my feelings and I avoid making myself vulnerable at all cost.

I have managed, over the past year, to become increasingly open and vulnerable with my therapist. This has been very difficult for me, but I trusted her and became fond of her.

During our last session, she told me that she has never said this to a patient before, but she thinks that my attachment issues go "too deep" and that I am too "intelligent" (Ph.D. from a fancy university, which is neither here nor there) and "defended", and that she thinks that CBT and Schema Therapy might not work for me. She wants to refer me to a therapist who does short-term psychodynamic psychotherapy - a therapeutic approach I thought she did not respect.

On a logical level, I understand her reasoning. Ethically, she needs to recommend whatever treatment she thinks is best. However, I just can't believe that she knows my greatest fear is that people think I'm "too messed up" and I dread rejection/abandonment, YET she is acting out my greatest fear and telling me that I'm in fact, too ill for her to treat me. She has also used CBT strategies trying to reason that I'm not "too messed up" and not everyone will abandon me - yet, there she was doing exactly that which I fear the most/defend against.

When she said this, I just started crying and told her that I thought the whole purpose of paying $200/hr to a therapist is that they are NOT supposed to do to a patient what people have done to them in the past.

She was not defensive, but just explained to me that she thinks that another type of therapy would be best. I kept repeating that I understood her from a rational perspective, but that I was hurt and felt like I have failed as a patient. Session time was up, so things ended rather abruptly. She said "I look forward to seeing you next week", so I guess I am seeing her again Thursday.

I am very technically familiar with CBT and Schema Therapy , so I wrote her a brief email explaining why I think Schema Therapy is a good fit for me. I told her I respect her treatment decisions, but this was my opinion.

Sorry for the long rant, I am just wondering the following: What are your thoughts/impressions? If you were in my situation, what would you say to your therapist? I feel incredibly disappointed, abandoned, hurt and somehow betrayed - am I overreacting? How would YOU react?

Thank you so much for your time.