Dear T.... I realized something productive.

I had this idea that I wanted to seduce you... be really charming and beautiful and special so you couldn't help but develop feelings for me. I thought I just wanted your love. I thought I believed you couldn't help anyway so might as well be manipulative. And I did, but behind that, I wanted to force you to stay. I wanted protection from the vulnerability of losing you, the first person who has shown me unquestioning empathy. That was the only way I could think of... to make you love me. I still want it. I am selfish. But at least now I understand why. Maybe someday I will be mature enough to tell you and be TRULY vulnerable.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk